Thursday, August 04, 2005

Dinah Lord Explains Her Theory of Hijab To You


I see the hijab and I think of women enslaved.

Slaves to religious fashion.

Sheikh Dr Zaki Badawi, one of the most senior Muslims in Britain, has advised women to stop wearing the hijab because of an increase in hate attacks since the July 7 London bombings. Other leaders urged women not to surrender to intimidation by thugs.

Okay, so let me get clear on this.

Wear the hijab and be intimidated by English "thugs", or wear the hijab and be intimidated by Islamic thugs.

Hey ladies. Don't you get it? Until you slip the veil of tyranny off your shoulders and start wearing what you feel like wearing you are just so much thug-candy scurrying around in a black shroud. Plain and simple.

Chattel cattle.

YOu say you feel like wearing the hijab? Well, I say wear your hijab and get on with your own bad self. And I do mean bad self.

Back during the invasion of Afghanistan, my sister-in-law and I went to a Halloween party at a redneck bar here in the states dressed as women living under the rule of the Taliban. Now, if you will recall, emotions were running high during that part of the WOT and before you go all Koranic desecration on me and holler for Amnesty International because we were defiling the hijab - it wasn't the real hijab. It was a get-up we put together after a trip to the local thrift shop and consisted of a couple of choir robes, a couple of dracula capes and a lacy black slip.

Let me tell you, it's amazing what you can do with a little feminine inspiration and a glue gun.

We had a blast underneath that hijab.

We walked in and the whole place fell silent. I didn't know if one of those crazy rednecks were going to pull out a gun on us or what. So I can kinda feel for you hijab wearers on the intimidation thing. Have any of you walked into a pub wearing the full hijab? I doubt it. So believe me when I tell you that it WAS intimidating. and believe me when I say I sympathize with your feeling intimidated. It's not a good feeling. I feel sorry for you all.

After all, you are intimidated if you do wear hijab and you are intimidated if you don't.

Don't you get this?

You can be a force positive good by standing up, throwing off the veil, dressing modestly and taking responsibility for yourself. A culture of oppression and hatred will not survive. And that's what you are looking at from behind your veil and under your headscarf.

No one's going to do it for you and no one's saying you have to be a hoochie mama...Lord knows, there's enough of them around here already.

But!

If you DO want to be a hoochie mama - then like I said, go on with your own bad self.

Just don't be going around like a hoochie in hijab sheep clothing. Cause after throwing back a few wine coolers and shaking our groove things on the dance floor we ended up having more fun than any hijab wearing woman should ever admit to. Dinah thinks thats the gig you got going underneath that hijab.

And while Dinah is 'splaining her theory of hijab - she has to add this:

Don't be looking to no man for fashion rules.

It doesn't matter if they are fashion designers OR muslim clerics. Just say no to men's fashion tips...

And stop asking,"does my butt look big in this?"