Hang onto your wig hat, Lucille.

It's Funky Fare for Muslim Fashionistas...

"JAKARTA (Reuters) - Mention the words Islamic and fashion and most people think of big black burqas or shapeless chadors. But a fashion show of Islamic clothing in Indonesia on Tuesday shattered the stereotype, as dozens of models sashayed down the catwalk in outfits that complied with Muslim tradition but also oozed funk and flounce. " (Ed. note: Too bad that such oozing funk and flounce on the 'Muslim street' results in floggings and stonings.)

"Muslim fashion should not be identified with long black scary attire..." (Ed. note: No, it should be identified with the violent political faction of a religious cult.)

"Indonesia is the world's most populous Muslim country where most people follow a moderate form of Sunni Islam. Some women wear headscarves, but often with the trendy Western-style clothing favoured by most women." (Ed. Note: Can't have it both ways, girls.)

"In Saudi Arabia, the birthplace of Islam" (Ed. Note: and the birthplace of Islamic terrorism) "which practices an austere version of the faith, women must wear the abaya, a black robe that covers them from head to toe."

"Many Muslim women around the world have adopted the abaya as the proper Islamic attire, and in some cases, such as Afghanistan, modified it to cover the face as well." (Ed. Note: curtain muncher alert!)

MODESTY AND STYLE (read: uncovered meat protected from perverted men.)

"On the Jakarta catwalk, the outfits were long and loose and the models wore headscarves, but they were anything but dull.

"There are more and more women wearing Muslim fashion to parties. It can provide comfort since it is loose and it can also protect women from perverted men if they walk alone at night."

Some designers and models said modest Muslim clothing was appropriate to prevent crimes against women such as rape, touting an argument often used by clerics to convince women to cover up.

"To cover our head with a veil is a must. The veil must cover the forbidden parts. (Ed. Note: Your freaking head is a forbidden part? WTFIT? I would be remiss if I didn't mention Brittany Spears forbidden parts here - maybe you can understand why the Muzzies are calling for the abaya - seeing Brittany Spears caesarean scar and beyond must be making heads explode all over the 'Muslim Street'.)

"Women are priceless things, the more priceless she is, the more protection is given," said Samira Mochammad Bafagih, a 25-year-old fashion journalist.

"Men are not likely to seduce women in veils. Thus I feel more comfortable if I walk alone at night. I agree that women without veils are more likely to be seduced. There are quite many rape cases, aren't there?"

All together now, ladies.

Repeat after me.

"Islam is a religion of He-Man-Woman-Haters."