Who Wants To Marry a Mass Murderer?

Well, my friends. Somewhere over in that isolated desert of Gaza, there are 226 less isolated desert derelicts and it gave me a brilliant idea for a reality show for Al Jiz TV. Who Wants To Mass Marry a Mass Murderer?

It seems that the Palestinian militant group Hamas sponsors a mass wedding ceremony every so often as a public relations gimmick and the other day they packed a West Bank stadium to gang marry 226 couples. This was done to "show a different side of Hamas, which has carried out numerous suicide bombings in Israel". Great PR, I guess. Although now that I think about, mass marriages don't do much for me. It doesn't the erase the nasty taste of those mass murdering thugs, Hamas, in my mouth, that's for sure. Yuck.

Please note: Things I don't do in groups: God, Sex, Marriage.

This mass marriage proves that there truly is nothing new under the sun. Remember that nutjob cultie, Sun Myung Moon from out of S Korea? Back in the 70's, mass marriage was a happening thing for his cult, The Unification Church. (Oops. Dinah's dating herself.) Same weird, religious cult thing going on as with the Hamasses although I don't believe any of the Moonies have strapped on the boom-boom belts as yet. Hmm. (note to self: follow that tidbit)

My head is spinning with ideas for this exciting program. It'll be kind of like those wedding shows on Discovery but Islamic!!!! Pick five lucky couples and follow them to the altar. Their trials, their tribulations, their struggle with whatever those homicidal lunatics struggle with. Man. It just reeks of pathos, doesn't it? And what about this? Since the Islamists put such a high price on chastity and purity what if the brides all wore chastity bomb belts? Yikes! And given their fetish for death cult love, what if one of the grooms gets cold feet and lured by his radical Imam's promise of oblivion and 72 virgins, decides to become a human splodeydope and blows himself to smithereens?

/not.

This is just a wild flight of fancy, folks.

But answer me this? Why do I find the above mentioned scenario about one hundred times more likely than what our blushing, blasting Pali bride had to say in the BBC online article

"This is a love letter to the whole world from Hamas," Sundas Kataloni, 20, one of the brides told AP. "We are getting married and are in love, and like all the rest of the world we want to live in peace."

Huh. Why do I have a hard time believing her? Perhaps it's because of another phrase buried deep in the BBC article: "Over the loudspeaker, a local sheik berated Israel and the US."

Religion of peace my ass. Read it all: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4727291.stm

Update: Well, who knew? A Joorusalem Post article says that mass marriage is a Muslim trend. It would appear that the Middle Eastern culture is so hung up on appearances and everything is so expensive there...read it all: http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull&cid=1122518932019

Kind of same as here, but you don't see us infidels running out to get married en masse. Dang. We get our hind ends to Vegas and tie the know in Sin City! Man. All they need over there in that middle east is Vegas! Reno! The Chicken Ranch! Think about it. Man, first the reality tv show, now I'm thinking possible economic development opportunities. I've got to stop here. This roll that I'm on is getting too big for me to stand...

Another dang update: Reality TV big hit in Baghdad. Read all about it here: